EVENT ATTIRE for MEN: Debunking Dress Code Lingo

Scroll down to see the lingo for Women

Guys who aren't fashion savvy and metrosexuals alike are often confused by dress codes.  Don't feel bad, gentlemen.  Dress codes on invitations have gotten out of hand!  Unless you're going to a Pride party, you're not supposed to know what attire "Fabulous" is or what tie to wear to fit the "Festive" theme.  Look no further!  Here are the standard terms with photos to help you know what to wear to your next event.  If you come across an attire request that's not on this list, send me a note or post a comment and I'll enlighten you.

  See also EVENT ATTIRE for WOMEN:  Debunking Dress Code Lingo here.

WHITE TIE:  Take this literally.  Wear a white bow tie or cravat.  Do not wear a cummerbund.  Vest with tails or waistcoat is appropriate.  Nice, shiny tuxedo shoes are the only way to go with this attire.

More on White Tie: http://www.thetieking.com/white-tie-for-men/

BLACK TIE:  Once again, you can take this literally:  Tuxedo with black tie.  Cummerbund can be worn with this, but vest is much more debonair.

More on Black Tie:           http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL:  Dark Suit with dark tie.  Dark shirts can be paired with the dark suit.  This one can look a lot like black tie.   The difference is in the type of tie and the fabric  and cut of the suit.  Black Tie is always a tux.  Black Tie Optional is a suit OR a tux.  If you have the tux, wear it.

 

  More on Black Tie Optional: http://www.ehow.com/info_12085001_appropriate-wear-blacktieoptional-wedding.html

COCKTAIL/SEMI-FORMAL/FESTIVE:  Suit or blazer with dress pants and a tie.  This suit can be any color or cut, and accessories can be colorful or patterned.  Always wear a tie.

More on Cocktail/Semi-Formal Attire:  http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/how-to-dress-cocktail-for-men.html

DRESSY-CASUAL/SMART-CASUAL:  Dress pants and a blazer or sweater, tie shoes, long sleeved shirt and vest with tie, blazer and dress shirt.  Ties are optional.

More on dressy-casual: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-dressy-casual-mean.htm

CASUAL:  Jeans and a jacket or sweaters are acceptable.  Don’t wear shorts to an event unless its VERY casual like a BBQ or a beach volleyball party. Casual pants and loafers work in this category.

More on casual attire:  http://askandyaboutclothes.com/clothing/style-tips/cracking-the-dress-code/

BEACH:  Light fabrics and colors are best for beach weddings.  Here’s where you break out the linen and seer sucker 

More on Beach Wedding attire:  http://laymansfashion.com/17/what-to-wear-to-a-beach-wedding-men/

EVENT ATTIRE for WOMEN: Debunking Dress Code Lingo

If you're planning a party, do your guests a favor and keep the lingo for the dress code standard.  Don't use terms like "festive" without something following it like "cocktail".  Don't be vague and say "Fabulous" or create your own term that only your friends know like "L.A. Formal".  There are only a few descriptions you need. Here I've listed the dress code standards for Women.  Feel free to send me a note or comment if you have specific questions or want to send a pic to see if what you're planning is acceptable!

See also EVENT ATTIRE for MEN:  Debunking Dress Code Lingo here.

WHITE TIE:  Formal, floor-length gown or ball gown, glamorous

NEVER wear white or off-white to a wedding unless it is very specifically stated that the bride wants guests in white.  Dark colored dresses are better than pastels.  Neutrals are ok.  Sequins and bling are not appropriate, but some accent beading is acceptable.

 

More on White Tie: http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/what-is-white-tie.html

BLACK TIE:  Can be floor-length or tea length.  Mini dresses or skirts are not appropriate.  Color and beading is acceptable, as well as tasteful sequins.

More on Black Tie:           http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL:  Dresses can be floor, tea, or knee length.  Beading and sequins are acceptable. Understated glamour is best.  Accessories are a key player in dressing up a classic little black dress.

More on Black Tie Optional: http://www.ehow.com/info_12085001_appropriate-wear-blacktieoptional-wedding.html

COCKTAIL/SEMI-FORMAL/FESTIVE:  This is where you get to wear a little more bling, depending on the event.  If it’s a wedding, tone it down with beading that is elegant.  If it’s a holiday party, a sequin dress in a cheery color is perfect.  Tea-length or knee-length is most widely expected, but floor length in a more casual material or maxi style is also accepted.  Dressy suits fit into this category as well.

More on Cocktail/Semi-Formal Attire:  http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/how-to-dress-cocktail-for-men.html

DRESSY-CASUAL/SMART-CASUAL:  Sundresses, “church” dresses, “date” dresses

More on dressy-casual: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-dressy-casual-mean.htm

CASUAL:  For an event like a wedding or an evening party, shorts and jeans are not acceptable.  Shorter dresses in more casual fabric like cotton can be worn in this category and patterns and colors are very well accepted.

More on casual attire:  http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2014/04/wedding-dress-code-explained.html

BEACH:  Light and flowing fabrics work best.  Remember that beaches can be chilly, so bring a wrap or coordinating jacket.  Sandals work best for footwear.  Don’t assume that the guests will be expected to remove their shoes.  

More on Beach Wedding attire:  http://www.luckymag.com/style/2013/06/what-to-wear-to-a-beach-wedding_slideshow_item1_2

New Trends for your Save the Date

There are so many ways to send out your Save the Dates these days.  You can go the traditional route of the postcard with your photo on it, the common but still popular refrigerator magnet, or the new age of internet and do an online save the date.  One trend that is rising and that I actually do like is the video save the date.  This is something that can be sent online, shipped to the recipient as a DVD (good for the not-so-tech-savvy), or linked to a QR code that gets sent as a postcard, among other ways.  Here is a link to an extravagant and most likely expensive, but pretty awesome example of what I mean courtesy of Vimeo:
Bambo & Janice Save the Date video

SnoBall Logic at the Most Diverse Spot in Town

Photo Credit: Bill Arthurs

Waiting in line at Pandora in mid-city, I ponder my decision using SnoBall logic.  The choice isn't easy, but the process is always the same.

1. What do I have to do later today? Is it OK if my teeth, lips, and tongue are green?  
2. How much time is there between now and the next thing I have to do for which my lips, tongue and teeth cannot be green?  Will I be relatively back to normal?
3. (If I cannot have a green face in my next appointment) Should I try the clear flavors?
4. No.  They can't be as good.  The color is what makes it taste better.
5. Maybe if I get a cherry or black cherry or strawberry or pink lemonade, people will think the color is just a healthy glow
6. Maybe I should try a completely new flavor!  ....but what if I don't like it?
7. Screw it.  I'm getting lime.

I order the small lime in a medium cup so I can bring it in the car, then move myself into the group of people waiting for our tasty treat to be announced by its flavor and size.
But then....
 
     8.  Oooh that guy's looks good!  I wonder what flavor that is!  

I turn and ask this perfect stranger, who looks totally different from me and with whom I would otherwise not  have any reason to interact, and from whom might even shy away, and boldly ask, "What flavor is that?"
He gives me a friendly smile, lets me know its vanilla orchid, and even offers me, a perfect stranger, a taste as he goes to the window to get a fresh spoon.

     

     9.  "SMALL LIME!", the window says. I shrug my shoulders as a 'thanks anyway' to the man. 

           Maybe next time.

    10.  Lime. Mmmmmmm soooo goooooood....

This is the tradition here in New Orleans, to bring the kids, your mom n'em, your co-worker, your tourist friend, your family, or just yourself to get in line and wait as long as you have to for our favorite summer treat.  During this visit, I took a moment to notice people.  I could tell that each of us in the group had a common goal, but drastically different lives.  There was an older couple getting out of a Mercedes to get in line with the rest.  They didn't ask for special treatment or jump the line privileges.  They wait in line like the rest of us, alongside a pregnant woman in her slippers with a gaggle of small children in pajamas who walked there to get an affordable treat for her family.  The gay couple in line next carry two small matching dogs in their arms. They let them down now and then to sniff the syrup spots on the ground next to two men in suits talking business and making deals. Behind me, a group of teenage schoolgirls flirt playfully with a group of teenage schoolboys.

Notice I didn't mention the color of the people. Color of skin seems to blend together, here, with the colors of the flavors we choose.  In this place, that woman is not black.  She's wild cherry with condensed milk. The couple with the dogs are not two white gay men with Pomeranians.  They're Tiger's Blood and Pina Colada with a small plain ice.  Everyone is hot and has no place to sit, but there are no grouches in this gumbo.

Could it be that the SnoBall stand is the most peaceful place on earth?

To Tip or Not To Tip...

To Tip or Not to Tip.... That's every bride's question.

There are lots of articles out there explaining who you should tip and who you shouldn't tip.  At the end of the day, it comes down to this:  if you would tip that person when its not your wedding day, you should tip them when it is your wedding day.  If you feel like someone went out of their way or went above and beyond, tip.  Tips should be 10-20%, just like when you tip at a restaurant, based on the performance of the person giving the service.
Here's the breakdown:

Tip Expected:

• Transportation drivers (check first to see if tip is included--you can pay this in advance)
• Hair and Makeup
• Head Waiter
• Bridal Attendant
• Waitstaff (check first to see if this is included)
• Bartenders (if they put out a tip jar, you can tip them just for you and the groom.  If not, give a little extra for the guests)
• Hotel bellmen and concierge
• Anyone that does something extra for you

Tip Appreciated but not Expected (more of a bonus than a tip):

• Musicians/DJ
• Extra Entertainment
• Caterer
• Wedding Coordinator
• Celebrant
• Anyone that works day-of and on-site

Tips are best in cash, but if that's not possible, you can add it to a payment by check.  Have tips and payments ready in advance, in sealed, labeled envelopes that will be easy to hand out day-of.  If you have a wedding coordinator, you can give these envelopes to him or her at the rehearsal and check that off of your list.  

If you have more advice or questions about tipping, please comment!