The Persian Wedding Experience (from a non-Persian perspective)

This weekend I designed my first Persian Wedding for Tala and Kian.  Tala came to me asking for help with the décor for the event, with a general theme of a Moroccan Lounge with blues and greens as the color palette.  She knew she wanted candles and flowers and an air of romance, but, like most brides, her vision changed daily.  Email after email came through with lovely designs she’d found on Pinterest, TheKnot, and Style Me Pretty, among others.  With each photo, the design changed, and the result was a very romantic, glowing PINK wedding!  J 

Throughout the experience, I learned a lot about the Persian wedding traditions.  I’d done some planning for Persian parties and receptions in Los Angeles and remembered the elaborate displays of food and the fantastic Persian music—a DJ accompanied by a conga drummer that made everyone rise to their feet and dance, but I’d never seen or dealt with the ceremony.  It’s really a beautiful setup, with symbolism and history in every detail.   The Sofreh (ceremony table) is set with elements like spices, apples, grapes, pomegranates, honey, and candles.  A large mirror faces the couple that sits at the end of the low table, the couple facing their guests.  As the two entered, the guests applauded their arrival and at the end of the ceremony, the couple stood to receive well wishes and gifts from close family and friends. 

 Tala and Kian had an English interpreter for the Persian ceremony, and I learned what each item I’d set up on their Sofreh meant to them.  This website explains very well all of the elements and their meanings:  http://www.persianmirror.com/wedding/sofreh/sofreh.cfm#spread

At the reception, the couple’s first dance was to traditional Persian music and was a conversation in undeniable seduction.  They followed this ritual with a customary American bride and groom dance.  Guests joined the couple on the dance floor throughout the evening and the room revved with energy when the DJ switched from the American style of music to the Persian dance music.  My favorite part of the evening was the cake knife dance—yet another ritual involving an unmistakable element of seduction.   Ladies from the pool of guests take turns dancing with the cake knife, enticing the groom to want to get the knife from them by giving them money.  Gentlemen guests do the same, dancing for the bride and teasing her (usually in a comedic way) into reaching for the knife.  The guests take turns, refusing to give up the knife, but taking the money and passing the knife to the next woman or man in the audience.  The last of the guests to dance for the bride and groom finally gives them the knife, to the applause of the bride and the rest of the guests, and the cake cutting continues.

Here is the explanation of the cake knife dance from www.persianmirror.com :

The purpose of the Persian Knife dance (Raghseh Chagoo) is for the couple to retrieve a knife from the dancers so they can cut the wedding cake. The dance starts with one person dancing a typical Persian dance, with the knife and basically asking the couple for money. Once the dancer gets the money, the knife is passed on to the next dancer. The bride and groom continue to offer money to try and get the cake knife. A little back and forth, and a few dance moves later, the couple finally are given the knife and are able to cut the cake. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDi0uFYw8TQ&feature=related

Best Wishes to Tala and Kian!

We're Engaged! Now what??

The most popular time of year for engagements is upon us.  New Year's Eve, Christmas, and Valentine's Day bring out the romance in men, I guess.  The next wave of engagements will be the practical, planner-types who are graduating from college and pop the question in cap and gown.  No matter when the engagement happens, your next few months will be filled with questions from friends and family, bombarding you with when, where and how.  To get you started, here are some helpful tips for making the process of getting married in New Orleans easier:

• If at all possible, pick your venue first, then your date.  For example, if you know what season you want (the most popular dates for outdoor weddings in New Orleans are in October and November, then March, April and May for those that don't mind an indoor option), then search for venues you like and ask them what weekends they have available.  Choose from those dates.  Remember, most brides start planning a year or more in advance, so if you're less than a year out, your dates may be more limited.
• Keep an open mind about the day of the week if you want to save some money on venue rental fees.  Many locations give discounts or lift restrictions for Friday and Sunday weddings.
• If you have guests coming in from out of town, check the convention calendar before you commit to a date. If there is a convention or event in town that is expecting more than 20,000 people in attendance, the hotel industry calls this a "city wide", in which the major hotel chains jack up their rates and start requiring 2 and 3 night minimums. The NOMCVB will check up to three dates for a bride who calls in directly.  You can also call any Hilton, Marriott, or similar hotel in the downtown area and simply ask for a wedding room block quote for the weekend you're considering.  If there is a city wide on those dates, the rooms will be expensive or not available at all.  Many hotels rule out wedding blocks during major conventions and events.
• Create a wedding website before you send out a save the date.  When you are planning a destination wedding, especially, people will rely on the website for hotel information, tips to navigating the city, and wedding agendas.  When you're a local, this is the best way to share your gift registry, which can never be included in wedding invitation or save the date mailings.  Free websites are easily found on most wedding sites, but I find that the simplest templates with the shortest URLs (without all the letters and numbers you see in some web addresses) are on www.weddingwire.com.  Choose an address that's easy to remember, like your two first or last names, and use the wedding date or a significant word as a password.  You don't have to have the whole website complete by the time the save the date goes out, but you do want to include your website address in the mailing.
• Pick your venue before your pick your dress if you want more location options.  The wedding dress sets the tone for the entire event.  If you choose a formal location, you'll probably want a formal dress.  If you choose a more comfortable feeling space, you may want to go with a more simple style of gown.  Your invitation will follow along with whatever tone you choose, giving guests the first idea of what the wedding attire will be.  The more formal the invitation, the more formal the dress code.
• Send save the dates out up to one year in advance.  The save the date does not have to match the wedding invitation, so this is your chance to have a little fun.  Postcard save the dates are an inexpensive alternative.  Create your own or use picture postcards from your wedding destination city. 
• When you create your guest list, include phone numbers.  Once your RSVP deadline (30 days before is my go-to RSVP date) passes, you'll want to call each of the guests that did not respond, or have a family member or friend call, so that you can get an accurate guest count for catering and venue needs.  When I make these calls for my clients, I say something like "The bride and groom didn't receive your RSVP, so they're worried that you didn't receive your invitation."  This gives the guest the chance to RSVP without feeling like they've been rude by not responding on time. Usually they admit that they forgot or simply answer yes or no.

These few helpful hints will save you a lot of headache as your start your plan.  If the process seems overwhelming, call All About Events to handle it for you! :)

Photo courtesy of www.bestofneworleans.com and Scriptura

I Ate WHAT??

I ate WHAT???...

Last year, my friend, Terese, came in town for her first visit to New Orleans from California.  Being an avid lover of all things New Orleanian, she had a “to-do” list of things she wanted to experience during her trip.  The list read as follows:

·         Eat Jambalaya

·         Eat a Shrimp Po-Boy

·         Eat a Roast Beef Po-boy

·         Eat Crawfish Etouffee

·         Eat a Hubigs Pie

·         Eat Red Beans and Rice

·         Eat Beignets

·         Drink a Hurricane

We spent several days checking off items on her list, researching and polling locals to find out who made the best of each dish.  I proudly gave her the brief histories I knew of the city and its quirky culture, determined to prove that life here is better.

On a recent return visit to New Orleans (her third trip now), Terese’s list, much shorter than the last, started and ended with a “Surf and Turf” Po-Boy from Parkway Bakery.  We went straight from the airport to the restaurant and got there at 9:30pm, just in the nick of their 10pm closing time.  I’d never been there at that hour before, when the noisy, busy wonderfulness of the lunch and dinner scenes died down.  The place had a few locals, leisurely wrapping up their current meals and chatting about the next, as New Orleanians always do.  The employees had a moment to chat as they joked around with us and didn’t give even one indication of being annoyed that we came in so late.  One man in particular, a manager perhaps, came outside to our table for a chat, bringing us each an official Parkway Bakery paper hat, which we proudly wore throughout the rest of our meal.  I beamed as I watched her eyes light up over the enormous bread as she took her first bite and was once again proud of my city and its unique heritage.

We mentioned to the manager that Terese was from out of town and that this was her first request when she got off the plane.  I’m sure he’d heard this before, but he didn’t show it as he welcomed her back.   She told him how much she loved it.

 “I don’t know what it is,” she said, “but you can’t get this kind of sandwich in LA.”

 “You know, I’ll let you in on a secret…,” the manager replied.  We sat, Po-Boys in mid-air, holding our breath as we waited for him to tell us the secret recipe for the coveted roast.

And then, in just eight short words, he shattered my illusion of all that is uniquely New Orleans.  “It’s just Yankee pot roast on French Bread!”

My reaction to this statement was one I did not expect.  Aside from practically spitting out my food, I felt slightly insulted and a little embarrassed.  Here I was, bragging about our local flavor and how you just can’t create it in the same way anywhere else.  And here was this guy, elaborating on a common recipe that any Yankee with a pot and a clove of garlic could throw together.  It was as if my Southern Belle ancestors had taken over my body at the sound of the word “Yankee.”  I hastily searched for an excuse.  Being a considerably below-average cook, I couldn’t argue the recipe.  So I threw out the first thing that came into my head.

 “It’s the bread!”  I spat out, a little too loudly.  “The bread is different here because of the humidity and the water.”  I was unable to fathom, let alone accept, that one of my favorite local dishes wasn’t local at all.

I knew at least some part of that statement was true, but didn’t go on because I was really just trying to change the subject back to our one-of-a-kindness and away from the dreaded Yankees.

After Terese left, I decided to look up the history of the Po-Boy.  To my relief, the most informative site, www.poboyfest.com/history, said nothing about the Yanks.  While the recipe for an authentic  roast beef Po-Boy was not specified, the article explains that the first sandwich of its kind was created by two Cajun brothers who relocated to New Orleans to open a French Market coffee stand.  During an unsuccessful streetcar drivers’ strike in 1929, the Martin Brothers offered free food to any union streetcar driver.  The popular campaign brought out-of-work, empty-pocketed members of Division 194 to the stand daily.  To keep up with the demand, the brothers partnered with a nearby baker, John Gendusa, to create a 40-inch loaf of bread, rectangular from end to end, that would yield a 20 inch half-loaf sandwich, feeding more workers than its pointy-ended, 30 inch predecessor.  

Bennie Martin said, "We fed those men free of charge until the strike ended. Whenever we saw one of the striking men coming, one of us would say, 'Here comes another poor boy.'” 

You know the rest…

And so, while I accept that my favorite Po-Boy shop’s recipe is of….ahem…northern influence, I sit proudly at their table, paper hat atop my head, knowing that, while “they” may have claim to the flavor of the meat, we’re the ones who made it better by putting it on the bread—our bread…the humid bread made with our very own water!