Same Sex Weddings in New Orleans

 A gorgeous New Orleans Same-Sex Wedding at the Benachi House and Gardens

I have a good friend who is gay.  He had a long-term boyfriend in Los Angeles who was in a terrible plane crash. They'd been together for years. My friend wanted to go to the hospital to find out if he was OK, to sit with him, and to be by his side whatever happened....just as any good boyfriend would do.  But when he arrived at the hospital, the nurses didn't let him in.  They said that he wasn't next of kin or legal family.  They wouldn't even tell him if his boyfriend was alive or dead.  Thankfully, a nurse who sympathized with my friend, overheard the arguments at the nurses station.  My friend was very upset and the situation was escalating to desperation.  This caring nurse pulled my friend aside and gave him the heartbreaking news.  His boyfriend had passed away just a few hours before.
I still tear up just thinking about how awful that moment must have been.  I can't help but think...if gay marriage was legal at that time, would my friend have gotten the chance to say goodbye? 

This time of our lives is monumental.  Its grossly overdue. 

It would seem that, in a city like New Orleans, with its free spirit and laissez faire attitude, that gay marriage would have been acceptable long ago.  But no...the old-fashioned outweighed the open minded.  However, the celebrations of commitment still happened.  I remember the first time I planned a gay wedding. It was 2011, I think.  The client called me and was timid on the phone. I could tell she was worried about being judged and had maybe even been rudely shot down by other planners.  I immediately felt her longing to be understood. I can't say that I can understand.  After all, I'm not gay so why would I?  But I could be someone that didn't judge her.  I decided that, no matter what the budget was for her commitment ceremony, I was going to help her.  I made sure she knew that I had never done a same sex wedding before.  She joked...neither had she.  We agreed to learn together.  What was surprising, in this learning experience, was that we both found that gay weddings, from a planning perspective, are pretty much exactly the same as straight weddings.  We fumbled over wording...is her fiance a "groom"?  Will there be a groom's cake and groomsmen?  For her fiance, the comfort level was that yes...she would take the title of groom and all the tradition that came with it.  The "groom" wore a suit and waited at the end of the aisle for her bride, who wore a beautiful white dress.  They cut both a bride's and a groom's cake and during their first dance, the groom obviously took the lead.  It was a beautiful day and the air was filled not just with love but also with accomplishment.  This couple had endured so much to get to where they were.  Beyond the typical trials and hurtles that every couple getting married has to overcome, these women also had to bare the burden of ridicule and judgement.  But they didn't care.  Their commitment was that strong.

I've done a few same sex weddings since then.  All women...so far. Some decided to both wear dresses and walk up the aisle together as two brides (see photo). Some changed the wording of their typical ceremony to include phrases like "each other" in place of "husband and wife".  We are still in an era where that story is being written, but now the plot is unfolding and finally the characters in these fairytale love stories are legally allowed to live happily ever after.
Bravo, US Supreme Court!  Welcome to the 21st Century!

If you're planning a same sex wedding in New Orleans please consider All About Events for all of your wedding planning and management needs!

310-733-7600 or email carolyn@allaboutevents.net

www.AllAboutEvents.net

Wedding Welcome Gifts--My "Aha!" Moment...

Wedding Welcome Gifts --my "Aha!" Moment...
I've designed, created, and delivered hundreds and hundreds of wedding and event gift bags over the years and I've come to a decision.  NO MORE BAGS!  While they look pretty and are easy to stuff, they are a pain in the neck to transport!  In the past, I would have an order for maybe 100 gift bags for a wedding.  Even in my SUV, I would have to make two trips to deliver 100 bags because I can only transport one layer of bags on the one level of surface in my vehicle. I considered doing some sort of custom contraption to create a second level in the back of the car, but I'm no carpenter and storage of large items in a New Orleans shotgun is a limited commodity.  The solution to the problem hit me in one of those "duh..." moments.  Forget about bags!  Use boxes for welcome gifts.  Nobody saves the bags that you get at the hotel anyway and they always look so ratty by the time they get to a guest after being handled by no less than 3 people per bag. I've even had issues in the past where the guest's bags were "lighter" when they were delivered to the room than they were when I delivered them to the hotel.  Maybe it was a ghost who really likes zapps potato chips, or maybe it was a hungry overnight worker at the hotel...the jury is still out.  With a box, however, I can seal it with a lovely ribbon and a custom tag.  I can customize the colors and the theme of the box.   Hotels can stack boxes behind the front desk and save valuable real estate, also avoiding any issues of front desk staff accidentally stepping on the gifts and crushing their contents. But what if you really want the guests to have a tote bag to walk around the city and declare their reason for travel is because "Tony and Tina's Wedding" is happening that weekend?  Simple...fold the tote and include it in the box! To show you what I mean, here are some boxes I've done recently, including the outside, the contents, and the beautiful tetris-like stacking in the back of my car!

If you need welcome gifts for your out of town guests or swag bags for any special occasion, give All About Events a call or send us an email!  We currently provide gift services in New Orleans, Dallas, Las Vegas, and Orlando!

"Guests are still raving about the welcome gifts- who remembers a gift box?! They were That Good!"   ~Tiffany B. (bride)

310-733-7600 or email carolyn@allaboutevents.net

www.AllAboutEvents.net

Transportation Tricks

Organizing your wedding or event transportation can be tricky and frustrating.  The details are important and knowing what to ask for is key.  This element can be costly, but necessary.  If you're not sure if buses are needed, here are some rules to help you decide:

You DO need transportation for your wedding guests if...

• The host hotel(s) are not in walking distance to the ceremony and reception venues
• Your wedding is a destination wedding, where more than 50% of the guests will be traveling and staying in hotels
• The ceremony venue is not walking distance from the reception venue
• Your friends are likely to try to drink and drive

You DO NOT need transportation for your wedding guests if...

• The venues and hotels are all in walking distance from each other
• All of your guests are local and will have their own cars
• If only a few of your guests are from out of town you can consider a small option for transportation, like an executive van

Here's how wedding transportation companies work:

BUSES

There are two different types of buses, 55 passenger and 29 passenger.  Some companies may have a different seating arrangement and will have 52 and 27 or the like, but the gist is there are big ones and small ones.  Don't try to have a bus make multiple trips.  Guests will either get to the wedding way too early or just in time and the chances of them being late is too great.  Some bus companies charge a minimum of 3-5 hours for their wedding buses. Some will allow you to do what's called a "transfer" or a one-way trip.  Some companies will only offer transfers for daytime weddings.  Make sure you understand what can be done before you contract.  Some companies can offer you the option to pay gratuity in advance.  If they do, take the option.  Its one less thing to worry about on the wedding day.  Make sure to ask the company if they can put a sign on the bus or in the window that has your wedding name on it, like "Smith-Jones Wedding" or "Kim & Kanye".  If you're traveling from uptown New Orleans to the French Quarter, get a police escort that can take you through traffic lights.  You'll save an hour off of your trip. Finally, when you plan your bus pickup points, choose hotels that are host hotels or locations that are central to all of your hotels.  Full sized buses are NOT allowed in the French Quarter streets, so if you're a French Quarter wedding, choose locations on the perimeter of the Quarter, like Canal Street, Rampart Street, St. Peter, or Esplanade Ave.  Tell your guests where the pickup points are via your event website, the welcome gifts, and via email if possible. Then don't forget to let all of the hotels know the plan so that they can communicate to guests that have questions.

LIMOS

As with buses, there are companies that require a certain number of hours for weddings and there are companies that offer transfers. For a wedding limo, a transfer can often take the bride and her father from the get-ready location to the ceremony and then wait for the bride and groom to take them to the reception all in the same transfer.  For the bridal party, you can have one limo pickup the guys and bring them to the ceremony and then go back and pickup the girls to get them to the church, only if the trips fit within an hour or so time frame.  If you don't have a wedding planner, ask the limo company to help you figure this out.  I always like to have one or two 8-10 passenger limos for the bridal party and a separate, 6 passenger limo for parents.  Then the bride and her father can take one car or rolls that will later bring the bride and groom to the reception.

I DO NOT recommend that you use Louisiana Limousine aka Northshore Limousine aka New Orleans Charter.  They once made a huge mistake in my transportation order and then cursed me out saying "All you white b*itches are the same"  .....I know.  I couldn't believe it either!

That being said, here are some transportation companies in New Orleans that I can recommend:

For Limousines, buses, party buses and those cute little streetcar buses:

  

For Rolls Royce and Small shuttle buses:

 U n i q u e   T r a n s p o r t a t i o n

To plan your wedding in New Orleans, visit www.allaboutevents.net

EVENT ATTIRE for MEN: Debunking Dress Code Lingo

Scroll down to see the lingo for Women

Guys who aren't fashion savvy and metrosexuals alike are often confused by dress codes.  Don't feel bad, gentlemen.  Dress codes on invitations have gotten out of hand!  Unless you're going to a Pride party, you're not supposed to know what attire "Fabulous" is or what tie to wear to fit the "Festive" theme.  Look no further!  Here are the standard terms with photos to help you know what to wear to your next event.  If you come across an attire request that's not on this list, send me a note or post a comment and I'll enlighten you.

  See also EVENT ATTIRE for WOMEN:  Debunking Dress Code Lingo here.

WHITE TIE:  Take this literally.  Wear a white bow tie or cravat.  Do not wear a cummerbund.  Vest with tails or waistcoat is appropriate.  Nice, shiny tuxedo shoes are the only way to go with this attire.

More on White Tie: http://www.thetieking.com/white-tie-for-men/

BLACK TIE:  Once again, you can take this literally:  Tuxedo with black tie.  Cummerbund can be worn with this, but vest is much more debonair.

More on Black Tie:           http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL:  Dark Suit with dark tie.  Dark shirts can be paired with the dark suit.  This one can look a lot like black tie.   The difference is in the type of tie and the fabric  and cut of the suit.  Black Tie is always a tux.  Black Tie Optional is a suit OR a tux.  If you have the tux, wear it.

 

  More on Black Tie Optional: http://www.ehow.com/info_12085001_appropriate-wear-blacktieoptional-wedding.html

COCKTAIL/SEMI-FORMAL/FESTIVE:  Suit or blazer with dress pants and a tie.  This suit can be any color or cut, and accessories can be colorful or patterned.  Always wear a tie.

More on Cocktail/Semi-Formal Attire:  http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/how-to-dress-cocktail-for-men.html

DRESSY-CASUAL/SMART-CASUAL:  Dress pants and a blazer or sweater, tie shoes, long sleeved shirt and vest with tie, blazer and dress shirt.  Ties are optional.

More on dressy-casual: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-dressy-casual-mean.htm

CASUAL:  Jeans and a jacket or sweaters are acceptable.  Don’t wear shorts to an event unless its VERY casual like a BBQ or a beach volleyball party. Casual pants and loafers work in this category.

More on casual attire:  http://askandyaboutclothes.com/clothing/style-tips/cracking-the-dress-code/

BEACH:  Light fabrics and colors are best for beach weddings.  Here’s where you break out the linen and seer sucker 

More on Beach Wedding attire:  http://laymansfashion.com/17/what-to-wear-to-a-beach-wedding-men/

EVENT ATTIRE for WOMEN: Debunking Dress Code Lingo

If you're planning a party, do your guests a favor and keep the lingo for the dress code standard.  Don't use terms like "festive" without something following it like "cocktail".  Don't be vague and say "Fabulous" or create your own term that only your friends know like "L.A. Formal".  There are only a few descriptions you need. Here I've listed the dress code standards for Women.  Feel free to send me a note or comment if you have specific questions or want to send a pic to see if what you're planning is acceptable!

See also EVENT ATTIRE for MEN:  Debunking Dress Code Lingo here.

WHITE TIE:  Formal, floor-length gown or ball gown, glamorous

NEVER wear white or off-white to a wedding unless it is very specifically stated that the bride wants guests in white.  Dark colored dresses are better than pastels.  Neutrals are ok.  Sequins and bling are not appropriate, but some accent beading is acceptable.

 

More on White Tie: http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/what-is-white-tie.html

BLACK TIE:  Can be floor-length or tea length.  Mini dresses or skirts are not appropriate.  Color and beading is acceptable, as well as tasteful sequins.

More on Black Tie:           http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL:  Dresses can be floor, tea, or knee length.  Beading and sequins are acceptable. Understated glamour is best.  Accessories are a key player in dressing up a classic little black dress.

More on Black Tie Optional: http://www.ehow.com/info_12085001_appropriate-wear-blacktieoptional-wedding.html

COCKTAIL/SEMI-FORMAL/FESTIVE:  This is where you get to wear a little more bling, depending on the event.  If it’s a wedding, tone it down with beading that is elegant.  If it’s a holiday party, a sequin dress in a cheery color is perfect.  Tea-length or knee-length is most widely expected, but floor length in a more casual material or maxi style is also accepted.  Dressy suits fit into this category as well.

More on Cocktail/Semi-Formal Attire:  http://www.howtodressforaparty.com/how-to-dress-cocktail-for-men.html

DRESSY-CASUAL/SMART-CASUAL:  Sundresses, “church” dresses, “date” dresses

More on dressy-casual: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-dressy-casual-mean.htm

CASUAL:  For an event like a wedding or an evening party, shorts and jeans are not acceptable.  Shorter dresses in more casual fabric like cotton can be worn in this category and patterns and colors are very well accepted.

More on casual attire:  http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2014/04/wedding-dress-code-explained.html

BEACH:  Light and flowing fabrics work best.  Remember that beaches can be chilly, so bring a wrap or coordinating jacket.  Sandals work best for footwear.  Don’t assume that the guests will be expected to remove their shoes.  

More on Beach Wedding attire:  http://www.luckymag.com/style/2013/06/what-to-wear-to-a-beach-wedding_slideshow_item1_2